Friendship

This week, an annoying dispute regarding what I recently have pointed out had poisoned and showed no signs of recovery to the brains of my... which for some reasons I could not even classify who they are anymore. Who could have expected that a minute statement which presumably means nothing at all, had blurred out and could caused a massive contention, not to mention that some indifferent arguments with heart-wrecking tones were called into being. The problem which I believed was derived from misunderstandings and a sense of disregard to the fact that people might have different definition to what a friend is. Similarly with what the rather cute yet thoughtful cartoon besides trying to express, which some of you might ever experience, everyone has their own representation of how a friend should be. There is certainly a relation to what extent it is related with someone's personality and characteristic, however again, it is a subjective issue where someone might clash with other individuals.

To clarify it once and for all, I resort to a hypothesis where I would explain my idea of a friendship. In my picky world of befriending with someone, there are several approaches I have always held firmly onto, I find them quite purposeful particularly because it is impossible to treat my acquaintances equally with how I treat my best friend. These approaches are simply classified as: just associate; close acquaintance; friend; best friend. Associate is simply addressing people who are only connected to me during study or work, everything is business as usual and small talk is no other than a courtesy question whether I have had my lunch. Once the work is done, the next meeting will only take place if the phone rings to inform the next project to be worked on. Close acquaintance takes a step higher than associate where chit chat might take place amidst work. Hanging out occasionally is not beyond the realms of possibility, in which someone's background information is shared and that makes us able to recognize each other better. Meanwhile friend is a lifetime entity and therefore unlike the previous two, only fewer can be regarded as mates. In my opinion, friend should not be bounded by time or places; we could still hang out together even what we individually do for living does not unite us anymore. Personal stories are shared and we know historical background of each other well. There is much less hesitation to share problems as a result of encouraging supports from the mates. Whereas as the best friend, he/she covers all aspects of a friend has with several quintessential elements of an old and long-esteemed figure. Emotion plays a major role and the best friend is a patient listener, able to present themselves very well by realizing when to crack jokes and take issue seriously. On top of that, trust is the main key of all and the value of privacy is highly respected. Obviously, it doesn't guarantee that a best friend will keep our secrets even under the thread of a gun, however the best friend is analogically the butter of bread, they are barely disappointing and stay along until the end.

"They might burn my house down if I referred them only as associates."

Back to the issue, the hubbub was actually coming from my classmates who were apparently surprised when I refer them only as closed acquaintances instead of friends. Some of my close acquaintances or perhaps nearly friends believe that this friendship standard is excessively high. However, not in dread of losing potential friends or regarded being self-assertive, I still find that the points mentioned above are well thought of. Despite the fact that we get along famously and having known them for years, we are still only connected by study or work or projects, even though hanging out together takes places frequently. Obviously, I learned one thing from their extreme response that they might burn my house down if I referred them only as associates. Anyway, the fact is though; time will prove whether they will last and in fact if they don’t, they will still remain acquaintances and without necessarily have to cross the line of being friends. Since as I have pointed out above that friend is a lifetime entity, and I do try my best not to drag someone who is already a friend back to become an acquaintance. The other point is, I rarely regret of losing acquaintances since we are only connected by the environment, no strings attached and no special demand is expected from them. As of friends concerned, I could not afford to lose them because they are irreplaceable and there is not many of them.

To conclude this note, I will share a famous quote to the readers: “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” After a deliberate consideration, this quote could actually appear like a two-sided coin. It could mean either “Someone who needs your help becomes friendly in order to obtain it” or like most people believe “Someone who helps you when you are in need is a true friend.” Regardless to which one your choice is, the first meaning is no doubt merely just an acquaintance or even an associate to me, whereas the second meaning sounds more potential of being a friend. At the end, the definition of a friend is certainly altering from one person to another. However, all definitions share one undeniable similarity: a friend lasts. Until the next posting, enjoy!