The Quest of Befriending With Native Girls

Not in a distance past, I noticed a couple waiting for a bus in front of the Ulm central bus station, Germany. I suppose they were just about 20 something and like other couples in Germany who are quite expressive in showing romance in public; they were no exception as well. What else could you possibly want other than a warm kiss in a chilly morning? Instead of yelling to each other about who will clean up the dog pee on the doorstep of the house, that was obviously a positive way to start the day, just before you are off to work. This might sound completely normal and what is wrong with that? Truth be told, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but as I saw this couple, I suddenly remembered my friend who had told me that he apparently had a niggling "problem" of how to make friend with the locals, especially girls. In essence, the man I saw is an Asian, possibly Chinese or Malaysian. Meanwhile the girl is Caucasian, possibly German or American. So the question is: what does my friend miss, in such way that he finds it hard to befriend with native girls, especially those who are at the same age as he is. Meanwhile, the Asian man I saw could even be a lover of some Caucasian girl. The answer might involve a lot of things and that is just what I am about to point out next.

Firstly, I would like to stick to the couple if I may. I have to say that the girl was seemingly a kind of beauty to me, well proportioned figure, wavy brunette hair and has a gorgeous smile that will undoubtedly melt every man's heart. Sadly, the same thing could not be told about the man. His hair was as too colorful as cheap chewing gums; there was an awful dog chain around his neck; has absolutely no sartorial elegance since his jeans were torn on the either side; and lastly, his artistic piercing made me thinking that someone had given him a feminism credential which he didn't deserve at all. Generally, I am afraid that it would be a trifle bold argument since I think that there are at least three elements which someone should have if they want to make friend and I call it the BBC rule: brain, beauty and cash. Judging the fact that even a beautiful girl might hook up with a cow-looked-alike bloke, I suppose that the problem my friend has must not be related with looks. Brain? The Asian man I saw might or might not possess this element since this element needs unquestionably a longer time to observe. However, the first impression might just be a proper introduction to show whether someone has a charm of quality people and after a careful consideration, he didn’t. The last element is cash and this is essentially just like an inhibitor in chemical reactions. If you have it, it would ease your whole process to achieve the result. But if you don’t, it is not that bad as long as you have the other two elements I mentioned above. And then I dive into a surprising bit of fact, my dear friend has all that elements. He factually performs very well during the study; only someone who suffers from Asperger’s syndrome will complain about his finesse look; even cash is not a matter worth to shout about in the world at large. Anyone might suppose that nothing he misses, but be advised that like any other chemical reactions; there are also many others minute elements which sometime are regarded as so small that we could ignore them. However, I beg to differ because each individual build his/her own image as soon as he/she interacts with other people for the first time, that makes every gesture and commentary worthwhile to be considered.

"A normal girl will just not go out for a night-out with some stranger who she has just known for several days."

In relation to the main issue of this note and there is no euphemism to address the main problem, I chalk my friend’s problem up to his aggressiveness in taking someone out for an evening cultural gathering activity. I mean, a normal girl will just not go out for a night-out with some stranger who she has just known for several days. Furthermore, I reckon that most girls will only spend time with those who she really knows well and even on a new introduction, I am almost certainly sure that the first hidden element which could be visually seen by girls is the charm and charisma. I do hope that it doesn't sound like an exaggeration, but this statement might work for several blokes, in a way that they have different first introduction approach to different girls. Personally, I still think that the best way of making friends is just being natural. Well in my case of being natural, I still have to practice how to deliver my opinions in a properly gentleman way, because a proper gentleman way is not my nature. The other important point is knowledge and whether one has a common interest to talk about. It is completely different from the brain element I have mentioned before because this is not about scientific paper calculation stuffs, but it mostly about how broad the general topics you could discuss about. I don't think that most girls will be interested in some blokeish stuff like FIFA world cup or F1 racing championship; neither would I be any amused if girls start to talk about the latest spring/summer collection from some fashion designer. Instead, why wouldn't we start from something old fashioned and poetic, something like in the olden days where people discuss about books, festival or music? It might sounds a bit pathetic for boys and cheesy for girls, but as I have practiced it several times with my new neighbors and it actually works, not to mention that it sometimes works very well as an ice breaker. The last element I could think of is luck, sort of. Judging by the fact that this is an extremely clear topic to be discussed, I might not need to explain any further. The message is don't try to clown around or spread an old chestnut when she is having a bad day, just stay away. Otherwise she would never forget about you, in a negative fashion obviously.

I would end this note by pointing out the last opinion regarding my friend's issue. Of course, he could maintain his integrity without trying to blow smoke other girls' bottom just to be friend with them, but I just want to remind that sometimes the faults is not within the boys, because if so then the girls would be the perfect creature in the whole universe, which I think and believe isn't. However, just like the message on a card box containing fragile and precious wineglass which says "Handle with Care", girls are to be treated with respect and tenderness. On this basis, if he still had problems with finding girl friends, I might simply suggest him to introspect whether he had lost his boyish charm, in such way that girls find him too boring and not interesting to chat with. Otherwise, the last thing he could do is maybe referring to Google and type 'I am a boring man’. Until the next posting, enjoy!