The Elderly

Not quite a distant past, I tested a car with a sales executive from some car dealership. While I was on the wheel and much like other sales, she attempted to break the ice by making some short and meaningless conversations, which are of course unnecessarily related to selling. The chit-chat was fine and we got along famously, until she asked me about what I do. I replied that I had recently graduated, she then congratulated me and I, with a great attempt of trying to be a humble man, thanked her politely. As even bigger surge of curiosity packed up her head, she inquired, “Postgraduate study, I presume?” I swear in the name of my neighbor’s dog, the moment I heard that I nearly slammed on the brake, stepped out of the car and just walk off. On my wildest dream, I don’t care if I stopped the car in the middle of a busy street, I don’t even care how long the queue behind would have been. I demanded her excuse and if she ever said that I looked way too old for my age, I would suggest her not to bother promoting the car since I am not buying it. No, I am not buying her words, but I would still be interested in buying the car; it is factually a good car to drive and to own. She just had to give me an even bigger cut to the listed price of the car and that would be a very apologetic of her to do so.

It should not come as a surprise to me that at the age of twenty something, I have already been labeled with stereotypes that are necessarily related to aging problem by my colleagues, friends, and even my parents. Thanks to the vast vocabulary choice of English, the insult goes on ranging from witty to unsympathetic. Many versions come on the table, but they can essentially be summarized as CO₃, which is conventional, obsolete, and old fashioned and outdated. I am not entirely certain whether they just take a quick glance to my appearance and immediately categorize me as if I was stuck in the bygone era of Beethoven, mostly because I know these people for years and they are well aware that I live in the chic and modern generation of Lady Gaga. Nevertheless, regardless with what people said about my appearance, I personally don’t give a damn about how all these years had corked away another year of my youth. Besides, it is nice to have people around reminding how mature you have become, when in fact the sheer delight comes from the fact that we grow old altogether. Except for that sales executive though, offending a customer is not a wise action and she still has to offer me a bigger discount for the car. I mean it and don’t think that I am a retarded grandfather clock.

"I am afraid that these whole anti-aging products are merely a scheme introduced by the gits in marketing department."

Speaking of outer appearance, two things immediately pop out of my head to improve your looks: plastic surgery and cosmetic product. As for plastic surgery, I am very supportive to those who undergo this procedure, if only they suffer from at least a second degree skin burn or their nose is where the mouth should have been; otherwise I literally could not urge you more not to perform this procedure if you are a fan of Michael Jackson. Meanwhile, as for cosmetic product, I don’t see any reason not to like it either. I like to see girls coloring their lips using crayon. I like to see them styling their hair using foamy fire-extinguisher (Forgot the proper term, given that I am a historical product of my generation). I also like my shaving cream otherwise shaving would be a murderous and blood-spattering experience. If you could spot any resemblance between my points, it improves your looks and it is extremely acceptable. However, there are also some products which I am not so sure about, such as Botox and anything that is labeled as anti-aging substance. I am afraid that these whole anti-aging products are merely a scheme introduced by the gits in marketing department, when in fact I could eat vitamins and antioxidant in the guise of an apple. Still, as long as women exist, cosmetic will be a huge and growing industry. I am happy for the excelling companies, but I certainly hope no one would need to buy any of their products related to anti-aging. Botox? Definitely a no no. I mean crayon on lips and fire extinguisher onto hair are perfectly acceptable, but the idea of having silicon injected beneath your skin is really something beyond common sense. Besides, Simon Cowell admitted to using Botox. I am not quite a fan of him. You conclude the rest.

Obviously, not only appearance does give an important impression of how one can be judged as the elderly, some other elements like manner and maturity also play a big role. I like to go to a folk orchestra concert when others hit rock music festivals; I hate cars with outrageous wheel and ear-attacking engine noise when other boys adore it; I shall have tea when others order coke. In my defense, they are all a matter of taste and are completely detached from stereotypes of oldness. This argument is best proved using the paradox theory introduced by my friend who frivolously thinks that I have a split personality. At times I told my friend to live on the edge several days after I said not to take risk. Sadly, it might just be true as I occasionally listen to upbeat house music; I enjoy driving fast; I might as well knock back a bottle of champagne when others sip a glass of red wine. Most of all, as others call it paradox while I think it is purely dynamic, so I call it mature instead of oldie. And again, don’t think that I am a retarded grandfather clock. Until the next posting, enjoy!

Unconventional Parenting

As part of a generation who lives within the century transition with many adjustments and adaptation to make, the ability to embrace brand new and radical thoughts becomes essential. There are some examples which collaborate this. statement. For instance, a bunch of people who have no friends invented cloning and did it to some sheep named Dolly, Dolby, Dorry or anything similar; United States of America elected the first President who enjoyed eating bakso and fried rice; and even the legalization of homosexual marriage. On the contrary to most argument about me being dull and gray, I acknowledge the existence of gays and lesbians, way ahead even when our society has not been ready to accept them yet. Now, if you are devotedly homophobic, please get something else to read, chiefly because the following content might consist of explicit content which requires parental guardian, err.. if only your parent is neither gay nor lesbian.

I recently read an article on the internet and it seriously had me startled. It was basically about an advice stated out by U.K. Government Adviser, whose advice I disagree with, incidentally. I am not sure whether he was drunk or under the influence of drug when he announced, “Lesbians make better parents than a man and a woman.” Well I am certainly not that conservative, but this idea is much too overwhelming and will sadly never be accepted as long as I live. No, that would be preposterous, let me rephrase that, even the spirit bouncing out from my dead body will find that comment silly and worthless. In attempt to find an opposing argument, which I failed, I found something else even more jaw-dropping. The director of research at the National Academy for Parenting Practitioners in Britain, who happens to be a professor, said that evidence indicates that children raised by gay women are more successful as adults and more likely to aspire to professions that were traditionally considered male. As I often point out that geniuses tend to be eccentric, I honestly had no idea about what this bloke was on about. I studied Biology during high school and correct me if I am wrong, but babies don’t come from a man getting on it with another man, and I guess it is the same story as woman to woman. Bear with me, the exact parameter of success in raising children is blury, since children upbringing is very personal and most of all I haven’t been a father yet. I would want to be involved in parenting one day and I do want to be a good father for my children. Speaking from the perspective of a parent-to-be and if I ever take the advice of that drunken bloke from Government Adviser, you will see one day on my Facebook page that I am engaged in a relationship with some chap named Ricardo, which will be the most horrifying nightmare to have. I could accept the controversial idea that Britney Spears and Madonna kissed during MTV Music Awards and even if they get it on under the sheets, but my mom with Susan from the fish market? Now, speaking on the perspective as a son, the idea of Susan would have been a better father than my actual dad is completely laughable. Nearly as laughable is, how such a parenting organization could be interested into this sort of thing.

"The upshot is, it is bloody expensive to rent a space shuttle, so think again before you decide to become a homosexual in this country."

I should point out that this is a tricky choice of topic to be written though. I remembered that early in September this year, some Muslim fundamentalists or widely known as members of the Islam Defenders Front (FPI) staged rallies at foreign culture center in Jakarta, demanding the termination of Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, because they claimed that it is against the principles of Islam. More worryingly to say, FPI also made a bold claim that their actions represented all Muslims in country. I do not have the statistic, but I believe that Jakarta is neither a city full of homophobes nor homosexual free. In fact if you are gay undercover, I am afraid the choice of becoming a legal homosexual in this country is the kind of luxury which you cannot afford. Firstly, you have to have enough money to buy a new house overseas, because when you blithely update your status on Facebook with something like “I am proudly gay”, some fanatic activists from any religion based organization will show up on your door step, punch you in the face, arrest your mom and dad for parenting failure accusation, then they will burn down your house. And of course, you cannot get married with your spouse here. The options are either, you fly to Canada or Netherland to legalize your marriage and settle there, considering that your house had turned into dust here; or you ship those fanatic activists with the whole organization using commercial space shuttle to Mars. The upshot is, it is bloody expensive to rent a space shuttle, so think again before you decide to become a homosexual in this country.

Truth be told, it might be a radical thought and way too early to discuss about whether lesbians will make better parent, when in fact, their existence is challenged in this country. With so many oppositions and counter-actions against gay and lesbians, no wonder that gay community might just not manage to survive in maintaining their characters, personalities and sexual preferences here. Having given it a lot of thought, I literally could not foresee any trouble of having homosexual colleagues, friends or even neighbor. Also, I see no reason why gay and lesbians are not allowed to adopt a child; it doesn’t necessarily means that the children they have raised will be gay too. On top of that, I am still unsure that lesbians make better parent than normal couple as children upbringing is a very personal matter, and no one wants to be a lousy role model for their children. Even so, this unconventional parenting concept does need take a while to adapt, especially when I admit it to my children “I am sorry that I can’t be a better father, because I am not gay.” Until next posting, enjoy!

She Knows When You Fake It

Two months of writing hiatus had really left this page dry, partly because many stories after all this time were untold of, when in fact there is some news which made headlines within the previous two months time, such as Rolls Royce’s share price fell due to the engine on Qantas A380 Airbus blew up, or Ireland is on the edge of financial crisis. But none of those stories actually mattered as I had my own headlines to make: Unemployment chills to the bone. Much to be anticipated, everyone looks for a job after graduated, and so I should. More often than not after fooling around in a job portal website, I would make an effort to write a note to refresh this broken mind. Truth be told, a note like this normally takes 48 hours to produce and I could report that much of that time goes to things which unfortunately have nothing to do with writing, such as sitting in front of a computer, while staring at a blank page, while yawning, while lounging gracefully. As bereavement about being unemployed went, I dropped writing. It eventually ended up like after fooling around in a job portal website, I fooled around in other neighboring websites.

Establishing a career is almost like an indecipherable infestation, and it is widely agreed that each of us possesses different perspective in viewing an ideal job. While I have always maintained that idealism is the most gracious luxury which young generations could ever conceive, the others might beg to differ. I also firmly believe that doing what you love is more important that trying to love what you do, I have always thought that the later idea is nothing but a form of pitiful self-forgiving, a cleverly disguised suggestion to let go anticipated dreams. What confirms this argument is the fact that interviewers have an idea whether you exhibit interest or not for the applied position. Don’t argue with me about this, I promise you faithfully they really do, it merely depends on how you put yourself in such situation. Having attended several interview sessions in which I had only minute interest for the position and like any other interviewees, being accommodative and pretended to be fascinated was the only perfect choice. Though the fact spoke otherwise when applications, in which I didn’t show a genuine interest, never made it to the end. Now the question coming will be, why did I apply for a particular position when I have no interest or whatsoever in it from the start? I am sorry, but not only once or twice has the interviewer been so guarded about explaining the job description or work environment either. Not in the distance past, probably when I was like four, I used to be opened with interviewers. Now though, when they hid something, and so I did too. It did show elements of indecency, though in my defense I was not mentally challenged, since being a saint and a hardcore idealist at the same time is anything but a wise choice.

"Of all interviews I have been through, three of which were hosted by women and I failed at all those too."

What’s more, there is an interesting story though to be told. You see, I know absolutely nothing about acting, but I am a good faker at times. In my attempt of being entertaining, there were of course moments when the quest for a job might feel like getting stuck down into a cul-de-sac, but still I won’t recommend anyone to lie during an interview, especially for those who possess elusive memory. Wouldn’t it be ludicrous when today you say that you want to be a lawyer, when in fact on the other day you described about the raging desire of becoming a post man? Of course, there are moments where this foul mouth has to behave, especially in front of chicks. Err.. Frightfully sorry, I mean of course ladies. The rather amusing fact is, the faking scheme only works in front of men during interviews, but on the contrary for the ladies interviewers. Of all interviews I have been through, three of which were hosted by women and I failed at all those too. Why? In doubts of correct answer, I chalked the problem up to emotional issues. One of them actually stated that recruitment instruments such as tests and interviews are not sufficient to find the correct candidate for a particular position, but feeling also played a role. No idea about what that was supposed to mean, but it is merely just a call for nature, I presume. The other one actually stated during interview that she was impressed with my assessment outcome and yet refused to precede my application because I have reached final process in another company. As she asked me whether I feel sorry for the recruitment team in that company if ever I resign, I suspected that she would plunge into a guilt-ridden hesitance if I do so. As for the last one, I had no idea why and could therefore only assume that woman’s heart is a deep ocean. Bear in mind that I am not in any minute going to suggest that the chaps, during whose interviews I failed, are mysteriously gay. While I can’t really mention factors which led to failure with ladies interviewer, the reasons with men interviewers are apparently anything but. Despite the failures with men interviewers, I find it easier to identify the mistakes and rectify them.

With thousands of jobless jamming every job exhibition, the competition of finding a job become scarcely believable and the figure is still to be added with people who already have a job, yet feel inadequate or unsatisfied. In case if anyone unoccupied reads this note and starts to develop suicidal or murderous thoughts, do worry no more because good news is coming to the desk. The director of Central Statistic Agency (BPS) has recently said that BPS released a report stating that Indonesia’s unemployment rate dropped from 7.87% in August 2009 to 7.41% in February this year. And the figure is expected to drop down again when the latest report coming out on December this year. So, go away now and pray not to have ladies interviewer in the process. If by any chance you do, fake it as if they were men. Victory tastes indeed sweet and especially when your pen made its way dancing on the sheets of working agreement, there was only a surge of contentment accompanied with a hint of revolting smugness. Even so, rationality should take place as some say that working life is a “beach”, and it gets “beachier” when your superior is obnoxious and mindlessly demanding. Imagine that the reaper prepares to sharpen his scythe in anticipation of my imminent arrival. Until next posting, enjoy!

Functionality

It is a pleasure of mine to share you an unnecessarily-to-be-told surprise and it just arrived on my desk yesterday. So, the surprise is essentially a question about someone asked me whether there are no new posting on this crappy and/or least googled website. The minute I read that I just went.. Gee! I haven’t realized that anyone ever allocated their spare time to read this piece of scribble, and I don’t know whether anyone is amused or affected by my notes. Yet, if I were so good at writing, I might as well write about anything and people will love it, maybe about how to brush your teeth properly. But no, I will never have the competence to write about such topic, I believe my dentist would rather explain about teeth hygiene to a duck instead of me. As for now, I might write about something else and as I have mentioned in the previous piece on “Graduation”, which were written in bygone era, I should talk about functionality. It is essentially a pedantic stuff and so if you still have friends, I might suggest you to go somewhere else, maybe log onto the Facebook page of British Royal Family and find out what The Queen is doing. I think it is more fun than this note. Seriously.

Right.. functionality. If I could recall, it has something to do with others complaining about me wearing inappropriate footwear on certain occasion, in this case is sandal inside campus. Not in dread of nasty argument or dirty glances all over the shoulder, I would say that it is merely a principal of functionality. That’s it, no other reason. Now allow me to explain why. You see, I studied engineering and that involved a frequent visit into the laboratories. In this case, I agree that a pair of shoes becomes important, chiefly because it serves function to protect your toes from heavy tools falling. Now I should move the scene into a classroom, I literally could not find a single falling thing which will do harm on my feet. Even now, I think the heaviest thing which possibly falls onto my feet is the pen I hold in my hand, which I used to write this notes now, and I don’t think that it will do any life-threatening damage to my life. I recently went for an outbound trip with my friends (acquaintances included), in which I brought both my shoe and sandal along. Due to the rough terrain, the shoe unfortunately died while it performed its mission. I think it was a noble demise because it has done brilliant job in protecting my feet over the years. As for the sandal, it is clearly not the proper place which it should be worn. And that gives a clear underline on my statement, put on something appropriate with its place and occasion. Now that the question left whether sandal is appropriate in a campus? I still could not find anything wrong with it. Do I meet my rector in sandal? Never have and never will. So there you have the answer.

"What’s wrong with making sandals look fashionable for those haute couture addicts?"

Heide Klum once said: “A girl is as hot as the shoe she chooses.” I really could not agree less with what she said, but I also have some other points to make. She is a model, which I am not. She adores fashion, which I don’t. Correct me if I am wrong, but none of fashion branded item is correlated with sensible buying and has anything to do with functionality. I have two examples to address my points here. The first one is an article in a health and lifestyle magazine which covers about a young lady working in a five hotel. She complains about the requirement for her to wear a very tall high heel to support her appearance and as a result, she starts to develop noticeable pain around her ankle after months of usage. The picture also showed that she did look good in those pair of high heels, painfully good. And it got me thinking, if we have fashionable shoes, what’s wrong with making sandals look fashionable for those haute couture addicts? The second example takes me as a subject; several months ago I decided to buy a black wool cardigan since I don’t have one to attend a formal occasion. It was sold in a mall and sensibly priced. Until last month, I went to a store which happens to sell second grade exported items and found exactly the same cardigan as mine. When I say exactly, that spells only the similarity of fabric, color, motive and shape. The only difference is: mine was sold under the brand which spells nothing, whereas that second grade cardigan, which people fished it out from some clearance bin, had a Marks & Spencer badge on it. It soon got me thinking, whether these people buy stuff because they need it or they just try to fill the void inside their souls. I honestly had no idea where that exactly came from, but I watched it in Oprah once about a young lady who shopped stuffs excessively to cure her pain after getting a painful divorce. I do hope those people who fiercely grab clothes out of the clearance bin were not in process of curing themselves from a painful divorce though.

The conclusion of this note is quite straightforward, that you are what you wear. Also, do decide on what you wear based on the place and occasion. And the last conclusion is, if one day I see you brag about wearing a black Marks & Spencer cardigan even after reading this note, I would know that there are three possible things about you, that you are not a sensible buyer, that you take fashion show-off as a second grade item, or that you might be in a healing process after a painful divorce. Until the next posting, enjoy!