The Elderly

Not quite a distant past, I tested a car with a sales executive from some car dealership. While I was on the wheel and much like other sales, she attempted to break the ice by making some short and meaningless conversations, which are of course unnecessarily related to selling. The chit-chat was fine and we got along famously, until she asked me about what I do. I replied that I had recently graduated, she then congratulated me and I, with a great attempt of trying to be a humble man, thanked her politely. As even bigger surge of curiosity packed up her head, she inquired, “Postgraduate study, I presume?” I swear in the name of my neighbor’s dog, the moment I heard that I nearly slammed on the brake, stepped out of the car and just walk off. On my wildest dream, I don’t care if I stopped the car in the middle of a busy street, I don’t even care how long the queue behind would have been. I demanded her excuse and if she ever said that I looked way too old for my age, I would suggest her not to bother promoting the car since I am not buying it. No, I am not buying her words, but I would still be interested in buying the car; it is factually a good car to drive and to own. She just had to give me an even bigger cut to the listed price of the car and that would be a very apologetic of her to do so.

It should not come as a surprise to me that at the age of twenty something, I have already been labeled with stereotypes that are necessarily related to aging problem by my colleagues, friends, and even my parents. Thanks to the vast vocabulary choice of English, the insult goes on ranging from witty to unsympathetic. Many versions come on the table, but they can essentially be summarized as CO₃, which is conventional, obsolete, and old fashioned and outdated. I am not entirely certain whether they just take a quick glance to my appearance and immediately categorize me as if I was stuck in the bygone era of Beethoven, mostly because I know these people for years and they are well aware that I live in the chic and modern generation of Lady Gaga. Nevertheless, regardless with what people said about my appearance, I personally don’t give a damn about how all these years had corked away another year of my youth. Besides, it is nice to have people around reminding how mature you have become, when in fact the sheer delight comes from the fact that we grow old altogether. Except for that sales executive though, offending a customer is not a wise action and she still has to offer me a bigger discount for the car. I mean it and don’t think that I am a retarded grandfather clock.

"I am afraid that these whole anti-aging products are merely a scheme introduced by the gits in marketing department."

Speaking of outer appearance, two things immediately pop out of my head to improve your looks: plastic surgery and cosmetic product. As for plastic surgery, I am very supportive to those who undergo this procedure, if only they suffer from at least a second degree skin burn or their nose is where the mouth should have been; otherwise I literally could not urge you more not to perform this procedure if you are a fan of Michael Jackson. Meanwhile, as for cosmetic product, I don’t see any reason not to like it either. I like to see girls coloring their lips using crayon. I like to see them styling their hair using foamy fire-extinguisher (Forgot the proper term, given that I am a historical product of my generation). I also like my shaving cream otherwise shaving would be a murderous and blood-spattering experience. If you could spot any resemblance between my points, it improves your looks and it is extremely acceptable. However, there are also some products which I am not so sure about, such as Botox and anything that is labeled as anti-aging substance. I am afraid that these whole anti-aging products are merely a scheme introduced by the gits in marketing department, when in fact I could eat vitamins and antioxidant in the guise of an apple. Still, as long as women exist, cosmetic will be a huge and growing industry. I am happy for the excelling companies, but I certainly hope no one would need to buy any of their products related to anti-aging. Botox? Definitely a no no. I mean crayon on lips and fire extinguisher onto hair are perfectly acceptable, but the idea of having silicon injected beneath your skin is really something beyond common sense. Besides, Simon Cowell admitted to using Botox. I am not quite a fan of him. You conclude the rest.

Obviously, not only appearance does give an important impression of how one can be judged as the elderly, some other elements like manner and maturity also play a big role. I like to go to a folk orchestra concert when others hit rock music festivals; I hate cars with outrageous wheel and ear-attacking engine noise when other boys adore it; I shall have tea when others order coke. In my defense, they are all a matter of taste and are completely detached from stereotypes of oldness. This argument is best proved using the paradox theory introduced by my friend who frivolously thinks that I have a split personality. At times I told my friend to live on the edge several days after I said not to take risk. Sadly, it might just be true as I occasionally listen to upbeat house music; I enjoy driving fast; I might as well knock back a bottle of champagne when others sip a glass of red wine. Most of all, as others call it paradox while I think it is purely dynamic, so I call it mature instead of oldie. And again, don’t think that I am a retarded grandfather clock. Until the next posting, enjoy!